Friday, June 24, 2011

Funny Story. Seriously.

Dear Cabbages (and Kings),

Today's your lucky day! Boy, do I have a funny story for you.

During physical therapy, my therapist noticed that I double wrapped my ice pack with a pillowcase. He told me that I should make the layer thinner so my joint would benefit from the cold. "Well," I said, "If I don't double wrap it I'll get red and break out in hives."

Then he said something that sounded like a joke: Are you allergic to ice? 

Pffffft - that's so dumb. Who would honestly be allergic to ice? 
He continued: Have you had any cold weather injuries?
(The eff is a cold weather injury?) I sat and thought about it. I've spent the majority of my life in either tropical climates or semi-arid desert. No frostbite or anything.

OH WAIT A MINUTE. There was that one time I got hypothermia.
No, for reals. I was playing lacrosse in the sleet and freezing rain while wearing short shorts and a t-shirt. Don't roll your eyes, folks, I live in southern California and it was a surprise storm, okay?? After my dad picked me up from practice, I spent half an hour in the warm car, then went home and took my temperature. It was a cool 90.8 degrees Fahrenheit. As in, I should have been comatose, or something. Whatever - I took a hot shower and that solved the problem. My mom yelled at me a bit for not going to the E.R., but I'm here, right? I probably survived because my normal temperature hovers around 96 degrees anyway.

So it was that fateful day that my body decided it didn't like cold stuff. Now, any prolonged exposure to cold/ice/etc will make me turn red and break out in scaly hives. I AM ALLERGIC TO ICE.

What. The. Actual. F#@%?!?!?



Are you guys allergic to anything? I don't want to be alone here.



~m.m.

22 comments:

  1. I am allergic to shellfish. I break out in this terrible rash and swell up.. It's terrible. Good post though, nice to know I'm not the only one with allergies like this.

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  2. i'm allergic to knives, bullets, things of that nature

    it doesn't count as hypothermia unless you were buried under 2 feet of snow for 3 days

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  3. Waiddup. Ice? Isn't that a neat story to tell unsuspecting people?

    "So tell me about yourself!"

    "Well I'm allergic to ice, so that breaker there won't work.."

    Cough. I'm allergic to some type of plant. I was out helping my mother garden one day and by noon I had these terrible hive things all over me, when it reached my neck the parents freaked. Not sure WHICH plant, or if it's something on the plants maybe, but whatever it is, it's bad.

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  4. I've learned something new today thanks to your story =0

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  5. shellfish, its all good cause shrimp is nasty

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  6. eww that sucks!! i am allergic to a couple different antibiotics, codiene and birch trees.

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  7. Wow, I didn't know you could be allergic to that

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  8. I would die if I were allergic to the cold.

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  9. sounds fucked up.
    im allergic to weeds :<
    sucks!

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  10. allergic to ice? wtf
    I knew you could be allergic to water... but ICE??! hahaha sucks 2 be you

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  11. That is hilarious. I'm not allergic to anything myself, though my cat is allergic to grass and dust. That's pretty shitty when your nose is constantly like four inches above ground.

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  12. Must be hard for guys to hit on you now:

    Dude: Hey baby, I bought you a margarita.

    You: Fuck you, you insensitive prick!

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  13. Allergic to ice is ... odd ... to say the least.

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  14. I think im allergic to like dust particles. +follow

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  15. So what happens if you hold a piece of ice in your mouth untill it melts? oO

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  16. I am allergic to apples. Which is not fair because I LOVE apples in caramel and I have to be VERY careful at bbqs and potlucks because most of those tasty salads people make with whipped cream so you can't see whats in em have apples..... Needless to say I carry Benadryl all the time lol

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  17. funny but true. must be a pain to be allergic to apples opal :O

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  18. I'm allergic to Showgirls, the movie.. oh, and Elisabeth Berkeley.

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  19. Its more of an annoyance than anything honestly

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  20. wow, i'm allergic to steel bracelets

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